IMAGO

Imago Relationship Therapy was co-created by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. Their books on Imago Relationship Therapy, "Getting The Love You Want: A Guide for Couples", "Keeping The Love You Find: A Personal Guide", "Giving The Love That Heals: A Guide for Parents”, “Receiving Love”, have helped and educated millions of couples throughout the world.

2699 Stirling Road Suite A-105 Ft. Lauderdale, Fl 33312 Phone: 954-401-8167 Fax: 954-713-6260

Imago-The Process

Harville Hendrix, PhD. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD., have developed a therapy that facilitates growth in one partner and healing in the other. A connection is created in the adult intimate partnership that heals. A specific dialogue process is used and becomes the major tool for the primary therapeutic experience. This method removes the healing process from the therapist-client relationship and relocates it to the partner-partner relationship. The therapist is only the facilitator of the dialogue process and is not the source of healing. The couples heal themselves.

THE EARLY STAGES OF RELATIONSHIP

The first stage of a relationship is romantic love. Falling in love is an unconscious process. That is when a chemical reaction is released in the emotional part of the brain causing euphoria, a sense of joy, aliveness and exhilaration. When we are in the romantic phase we have a heightened awareness of our five senses…everything tastes better, looks better and feels better. (Remember that love song on the radio that you were tired of hearing…well, now that becomes “our song”.) As Harville Hendrix so aptly states “being in love is like nature’s anesthesia”.

Romantic love was not designed to last. So when it fades and it always does, couples naturally move into the stage of power struggle. Frustrations in relationships tell us the exact spot were we are broken down and need to grow. The good news is that power struggle was not designed to last either. Although couples often have a way of making it last because frustrations mount and they temporarily do not feel safe in the relationship. This is the exact stage that couples call my office and say, “help, my relationship is falling apart!” That sense of joy and aliveness that was present in romantic love has now faded into disillusionment. As a result, we begin to criticize, withdraw, intimidate, cry and blame our partner.

        Little or No Sharing: The couple rarely shares  conversation about their day. Meaningful conversation is al-
          most non-existent; each person isolates and becomes self-contained.
        The Great Divide: You  stop doing  things as a  couple, you deliberately look for activities which exclude your
          mate, and you unconsciously involve  children to  the degree  that they become  the sole reason that  you share
          time together rather than sharing  time as a couple.  You drift apart emotionally  which eventually leads to a fatal
          loss of intimacy.
        He Said/She Said: You engage in blaming,  contemptuous behaviors,  there are hurtful, angry outbursts and
          passive-aggressive behaviors. Minor issues become major issues and confrontation is frequent.
        Co-Existing: You withdraw  from emotional  and physical  aspects of  your relationship.  Your relationship  be-
          comes more like “renters” than a loving, committed couple.
        Exiting Behaviors: Exits include work  as your  primary focus,  affairs; drinking  and drugging;  pornography;
          telephone and/or Internet sex; strip clubs and spending most free time with friends. Ultimately, you disengage as
          a couple and focus solely on the children. Having children always  present in activities,“no alone” time, verbaliz-
          ing  frustrations  about your relationship  to your  children or  communicating through  the children…  ”Tell your
          mother…” “Tell your father…”
        Threats; Verbal and Non-Verbal: You begin  to say  or hear,  “If it weren’t  for (the kids,  disappointing my par-
          ents, money, our faith)…. I would leave”, “One of these days I’m leaving and I won’t come back”.

A fundamental goal of Imago Relationship Therapy is to help couples move out of ”power struggle” to a more conscious, intimate, committed relationship. This is accomplished by teaching couples techniques that enhance emotional safety and encourage each partner to aim toward meeting one another’s needs. A core skill is a 3-part dialogue technique that helps couples break out of hurtful, defensive behaviors because it blocks open and honest communication between partners. As a couple, you will learn how to heal each other by stretching to provide your partner’s unmet needs from childhood. This process is the catalyst for healing, growing and changing not only for your partner but for the nurturing partner, as well. Imago is a gift and a skill. The process helps you to transform your relationship into a more mature, mutually healing, deep love relationship.

If this is the life you want, then click the “Contact Me” link below. This will be your first step toward getting the love you want!